Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
