strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
