shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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