there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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