you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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