Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
