She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
