I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I could fuck to npr.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
