At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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