Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
