I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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