it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
