tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
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