Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
