my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize