All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I stole a fireplace last night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
