ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
