In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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