I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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