i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
