taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
