She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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