I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
