Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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