I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
