Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I could fuck to npr.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize