I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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