Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I think I just sharted jello shots
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
