I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
