Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize