You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
