Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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