We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
time to smoke my breakfast
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize