I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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