Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
