I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
