I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize