It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
