So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
