your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
