Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
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I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
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Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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