y did u give ur computer a hand job?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You made out with two different species that night
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
