If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
