he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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