So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
