I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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