It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
