I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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