Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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