Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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