come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
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I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
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Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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