Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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