i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
