Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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