Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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