that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
